Days 100-94

Too many damn days: Thursday-Wednesday, February 16-22, 2017

Temperature: Who the fuck knows or cares!?! Okay, that was a little rough...I hear it was nice outside all weekend.

What Kind of "Week" Did I Have & Why?

I was oh so looking forward to hitting the 100-day mark and apparently, so was Lupus. One week later, I am back! These past days have been crazy...And not in a good way. I had my second Lupus flare of the year and it's still February - not good. I'm happy to be back, but I definitely need to make some serious strides toward getting back healthy. For my life and my destination wedding!

How Do I Feel? Health/Lupie Status?

How am I now? Much better - I have medium joint pain and I'm a little tired here and there but I'd no longer call it exhaustion.

But...over the past few days, it has been rough:

I can say that 75% of every joint on my body ached at one point in time, if not all at the same time. In the beginning, my exhaustion was more frustrating than anything else because I couldn't muster up the energy to do anything even if I really wanted or needed to do it. It hurt to brush my teeth, walk, hell - even roll over or breathe at times. At times, it felt like the flu times a zillion... I'm better now, but I want to use the memory of this past week to take better care of myself

Workout Time & Duration?

Yeah right… but today I did get in 15 minutes on the elliptical machine this morning. I did good...baby steps.

Destination Wedding Task Tackled:

Surprise, surprise!

Even though I felt like shit, there was a brief moment where I could see the light and Che made sure that we did get some wedding stuff done during that moment - seriously, it was about an hour since that’s all the gas I had in the tank. Nonetheless, during that time we were able to talk about lighting more and make some decisions and shoot emails out to our vendors. We currently have quotes from 3 different companies for lighting and decor items and we’re trying to figure out the easiest way to consolidate and save money (if possible). When we hear back from everyone that we sent email inquiries to, we should have a better idea of our complete options for lighting, decor and private transportation. Hopefully, we can make a decision really soon.  

Any Old Destination Wedding Tasks Making a Comeback?

Nope.

Loving Black Love Moment?

Once I confessed and told Che that I was having a flare up (is that how you say it? I sound and feel so weird saying that)

...anyway…

Once I told him that I was trying to hide the fact that I was in full on flare mode, we had a "get real" moment and I was mildly scolded for my behavior over the past few days and then he took care of me and saw me through this shit. I love that man! And I know that I can’t put him through this shit either - it isn’t fair at all.

What am I happy for?

I'm happy to be feeling better and I’m happy that I was able to get better in time to enjoy National Margarita Day tonight. I didn’t go hard, but I did get to enjoy it!

What could I have done better?

I could have taken better care of myself during the days before my flare up. It was like I was in denial...because I definitely felt it coming. I just tried to push through it and didn't make any concessions with Lupus to try to lessen my symptoms other than taking extra medication - which is worthless if I'm not doing anything else (I now know this without a doubt). I know better, but sometimes it is easier to not talk about the pain and just cope with it. It is easier to smile and laugh and put on a façade to help myself cope...but I can do that with strangers, just not at home or with myself. I will be sure to do better from now on.

What am I doing tomorrow?

Getting my shit together!