HEYYY DESTIS + BRIDEFRIENDS!

IT FEELS so good to be back here blogging with you and it took me a while to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to you. I mean - it gets like that when you’ve been away for so long. Well, last week’s DESTIHOUR call gave me all the feels and I now know exactly what I want to share with you. 

Btw…the JANUARY DESTIHOUR replay is live in the DESTILOVERS Community too, so check that out when we finish here because it’s goooodt. But that’s not what I’m here to share so lemme get back on track. 

Okay so where was I? Oh yeah…

Over the years (in fact, the podcast turns 5 years old this week! whoop! whoop! ) I’ve had the pleasure of helping 1000s of DESTIBRIDEs plan their destination weddings and I’ve spoken to countless brides - be it in the comment section on the DESTI Guide to Destination Weddings show and socials, in the DESTILOVERS Community and personal 1-on-1 DESTICoaching sessions, and there’s one piece of advice that I share with every single one of them. And if you haven’t heard it from me in a video, podcast episode, or live q+a in the community, I’m sharing it again!

You’re newly engaged and planning a destination wedding - so exciting!!!

Now Slow d o w n…

actually, for this moment in time, just stop for a sec
and let’s talk about Wedding Planning Abstinence.

Now, Wedding Planning Abstinence is something that I proposed back in 2016 way before my husband and I were even married. And I still stand by it - even more now in 2022 because I’ve seen the power of what it can do. 

AND NO I am not talking about abstaining from sex. No judgments on the sexual wait - that’s just not what I’m talking about right now.  

I penned an absolutely genius two-part post sharing my experiences during the first 90 days of our engagement called Practicing Wedding Planning Abstinence: Why I’m Glad We Waited 90 Days Before Planning Our Destination Wedding. And it’s genius - did I say that it was genius? 

The concept was largely the brainchild of my then fiancé, now husband Che, and I highly recommend you check those posts out for the backstory and the reasons WHY I’m glad we waited 90 days before planning our destination wedding. I decided to split the post into two parts very much like me and my Che’s personas: Emotional (Part 1) and Practical (Part 2). 

Today I want to round out the concept and make it easier for you to actually make it through the 90-day period. And have the time of your life doing it - of course! 

Approximately 99.999% of the time this concept is met with a very specific question. It goes something like this:

Well Omi,
I know you want me to not do any planning of my destination wedding for 90 whole days…

BUT H O W am I supposed to do this?
What am I supposed to do while practicing this 90-day wedding planning abstinence that you're proposing? 

A wonderful question!
To which I have an equally wonderful answer. Well really, I have lots of answers,
but here are my top 5 ways to happily practice wedding planning abstinence:

Have Sex! 

Lots of sex! Your wedding planning journey will undoubtedly be some version of a rollercoaster of emotions, and as of this moment, we have no idea how your bodies will respond to it. Are you (or your partner) the type to lose your sex drive when stressed? Go ahead and stock up now just in case. Unaffected by stress? Juggling normal life and your destination wedding planning tasks can make life a bit busier for a while and we only have so many hours in a day, so there’s a chance that sex can fall by the wayside so stocking up isn’t a bad idea no matter what. And really, you just got engaged Bridefriend! We don't really need any reasons now do we? It’s fun and healthy too so bonus! 

Work Out!

There are soooo many reasons to work out, so I’ll spare you the Health Department Guidelines and WebMD chatter.  Looking and feeling your best on your wedding day ranks pretty high on the list of goals for engaged couples, so why not start that fitness journey now? The more time you give yourself, the better - that way you’re not the bride in Facebook groups asking how to lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks. We love her but we won’t be her - okay? And if you already are keepin’ it tight - then keep on going Bridefriend because engagement weight is a real thing! And if you are anything like me when I was engaged, you need to start building a healthy plan of action and a 90-day head start is just what you need. Also, working out together provides an activity and bonding opportunity, so if you haven't tried it out, plan a workout date for this week and lemme know how it goes. 

Need a wedding workout plan or some new ideas? 
See my DESTIWORKOUTS here. 

Get your money right. 

We know destination weddings cost money. How much money? Well, that depends entirely on you and what you can (and want to) spend. So you need to know the real questions: How much money do you have? And how much money can you save? Money conversations aren’t easy for everyone. Most of the DESTICouples I’ve come in contact with have at least 1 partner who is a little (or a lot) uncomfortable talking about money and that’s okay. I was the “a lot one” in our relationship and can tell you that it gets better - but only with practice. That’s an entirely different post that I need to write or record, but for now - trust me when I tell you that coming together to discuss your current financial situation as a unit will make your lives so much easier now and in the future. You need a clear understanding of your finances so I highly recommend you both outline your income, expenses, savings, debt, etc., and figure out how much you can save per month.  I’m a spreadsheet queen so Che and I completed our individual spreadsheets and then combined everything on a third to form our official household spreadsheet (which we still use and update whenever life shifts). If you don’t already have a spreadsheet - lemme me know. And if want me to elaborate on how we saved - Che and I went over it all in our wedding deep-dive videos here.

Now, I do have a destination wedding budget spreadsheet here that you will want to download - BUT I don’t want you looking at it quite yet because that’s planning and wouldn’t be in line with our abstaining now, would it?

Take a trip

Once you go through your money situation, if you can find the cash to make it happen - take a lil vacation of some sort. It doesn’t have to be anything spectacular - that’s what your wedding will be - but there’s nothing like a trip to celebrate, recharge, and get your mind right. And I know there will be a Bridefriend who reads this as says…hmmm I can make this trip a scouting trip to find wedding destinations and venues… and to that Bridefriend I say: first of all, you’re cheating because that’s clearly destination wedding planning - so you’re not slick. But life is full of loopholes so I’ll allow you this one as long as you promise to take time to yourselves and NOT plan the whole damn time. Let’s cap it at a maximum of 25% planning - deal?  

And if you don’t have the cash quite yet - a staycation can do the trick too! Have fun with it and lemme know if you need some ideas. 

Do nothing

Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Don’t sleep on the power of doing nothing Bridefriend. Just sit and be. A self-imposed timeout allows the moment to sink in and the excitement to build. Many a DESTIBRIDE has suffered an unnecessary and oh-so-unpleasant burnout super close to their wedding date and it’s usually because they didn’t take any time between saying YES to their boo and starting the planning journey to I DO. ~Man I love it when I rhyme~

Destination wedding planning is a marathon so you need to rest, stretch, eat right, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I can't list because I’ve never run a marathon…but we all know there’s a lot of prep so get that rest in before you hit that starting line. And it’s possible that your partner would really appreciate practicing this at least for a little while - it’s stressful planning an engagement, ya know.

BONUS: JOIN DESTILOVERS!

If you’re not already a member of the DESTILOVERS Community, I’d like to invite you to join the absolute BEST destination wedding planning community if I can say so myself - and I do. You’re not planning for the next 90 days, so you may as well BUT if joining now will be too tempting for you I’ll see you in 90! Find out more information here.

Hopefully, by now I’ve got those juices flowing (see #1 wink wink) and those wheels turning - actually the goal is wheels slowing - so I hope you’re ready to pump the breaks on planning your destination wedding. Your wedding isn't going anywhere Bridefriend but this time of being engaged is disappearing more and more every day. I’m looking forward to finding out how you enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime moment that you’re experiencing.

So tell me:

Which of these do you plan on trying? One, two, all, something else? Let me know in the comments below. You may inspire another Bridefriend with your story. 

I’ll see you in the DESTILOVERS Community and until then, as usual - I’m reminding you to have the time of your life, planning the best days of your life! 

But don’t be planning yet 😘

Love ya lots!