Practicing Wedding Planning Abstinence: Why I’m Glad We Waited 90 Days Before Planning our Destination Wedding - Part 2

This is Part 2 of a two-part post.
If you haven’t already, check out PART 1 and then come back to chat with us at the end. I mean, Who wants to see the ending first?
But hey, if you’re a rebel, go for it Bridefriend and keep on reading.


This two-part post is me sharing my experiences during the first 90 days of our engagement. I decided to split this post into two parts very much like me and my fiance’s personas: Emotional (Part 1) and Practical (Part 2). These are the more practical reasons why Practicing Wedding Planning Abstinence was great for us:


3. It was an excellent de-stressor before the impending destination wedding planning marathon.

The calm before the storm.’ll need it. Think of it as getting a massage before the marathon. It has been said that a Swedish massage is best used in the days before big competitions. It can help you re-energize, relax, and get your legs back under you. Those 90 Days did the same exact thing for us.

We thought about wedding planning abstinence as a Swedish Massage. We unplugged, energized and built up that anticipation to kill it during our Destination Wedding Planning.


4. We were able to take an inventory of everyone’s reactions and responses to our news.

People may surprise you! Correction: People WILL surprise you! The ones you thought would be happy for you just may not be your biggest well-wisher. At the same time, you may be surprised by the person who you were expecting to be negative actually providing some strong support. Getting that confirmation that your bestie is rocking hard for you will bring you closer. Let them show you who they are and how they feel. This will happen throughout wedding planning (and life in general), but there’s something about weddings that bring out those true colors.

We had some CRAZY reactions to our engagement. Although almost entirely supportive, not everyone was happy for us, and our decision to not discuss wedding planning for 90 days actually was offensive to some. How is deciding how and when to plan MY wedding offensive to YOU? I’ve asked myself that question approximately 1.2 million times so far. Oh well...they’ll live. Which brings me to #5…


5. We set the tone and empowered ourselves by doing things our way.

Everyone may not like the fact that they don’t get immediate details about your wedding, but it isn’t about them and this is a GREAT way to set that precedent. Taking control of your wedding planning early can make things easier later when it becomes a battle over venues, dates, napkins, themes and everything else. You are doing what is best for you from the jump and no one can (or should) really be mad at it.  After all, the reason you are practicing wedding planning abstinence is because you are so in love…

Awwwweee! Don’t you just get mushy thinking about it? I know I did.

Practicing wedding planning abstinence and waiting a specific amount of time before starting wedding planning has its benefits. Staying in your happy place, resisting difficult questions and building up that wedding-planning endurance (which you’ll need!) will help you understand your relationship and empower you as a couple.

Give it a shot and thank us later. I say thank US, because this was largely the brainchild of my fiance, Che. It’s one of the smartest things I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth (besides asking me to marry him, of course). And he’s pretty damn smart! So yeah, Give it a shot and thank us later!


So Bridefriends...Let me know what you think about Practicing Wedding Abstinence! Did you do the same or something similar? Any other advice? Leave a comment below and let’s chat about it.
Black Destination Wedding Bride - Wedding Abstinence Pt.2