Practicing Wedding Planning Abstinence: Why I’m Glad We Waited 90 Days Before Planning our Destination Wedding - Part 1


When we first got engaged, I was immediately wonderstruck with the exhilaration that comes with saying YES. I was completely surprised by the proposal, so this feeling hit me like a ton of bricks. Over the years, I’d heard stories about that exhilaration quickly giving way to brides itching to get down the aisle and having anxiety about making this ginormous life decision, and I didn’t want that to happen to me. I wasn’t ready to come down from my engagement high.

In this two-part post, I am going to share with you, my experiences during the first 90 days of our engagement. I decided to split this post into two parts very much like me and my fiance’s personas: Emotional (Part 1) and Practical (Part 2). I may or may not be the Emotional One. Practicing wedding planning abstinence was the answer for us and I highly recommend it. Here are the first 2 reasons why I’m glad we waited 90 days before planning our destination wedding:


1.    We were able to really ENJOY the engagement with no distractions and be sooo in love with each other.

We relived the engagement over and over and over again! There were so many questions... How did he find the ring? How long did it take to find the ring? When did he know? Did I have any clues? How did I feel? How did he feel? Was anyone else involved in the surprise? The questions kept rolling in and we had nothing but time to fall more in love with the story and each other as they came. Even if the proposal wouldn’t have been a surprise, it was still great to talk about the experience of agreeing to spend the rest of our lives together.

Isn’t that what it’s all about?


2.    We were able to easily deflect all of the high-pressure wedding questions from friends, family, co-workers, and STRANGERS.



Who? What? When? Where? Why?…
The wedding questions seem endless when you’re newly engaged  and, if you’re like us, you ain’t got the answers (Kanye voice), so why try?


Che proposed to me in the Dominican Republic on a surprise vacation for my birthday. On the way home, during our layover in Atlanta, the Passport Agent noticed my ring and gave us initial congratulations… but the very next question was “So, when’s the wedding?” I could NOT understand why the hell I was supposed to have an answer to that and was completely blindsided… I mean, I JUST got engaged homie. I know that it’s just a customary question, but I loved not having that answer 2 DAYS AFTER WE WERE ENGAGED. And we continued to love it over the next 90 days!

I know there are different types of couples, and you may have been waiting for the ring, which is great! You may be looking forward to all of those conversations and questions, and to the wedding planning itself. But I still think you should take your time Young Grasshopper. There’s something to be said about just basking in the uncertainty and building anticipation.

TRUST ME: You’ll have plenty of time to get to all of that.

Check out Part Two of this series, where we’ll talk about another important aspect of Practicing Wedding Planning Abstinence: the more practical reasons. Until then, good luck and have an amazing day!

Black Destination Wedding Bride - Wedding Abstinence Pt.1