F*ck What Everyone Else Says... This is the FIRST Question You Need to Answer Before You Decide To Have a Destination Wedding

This gorgeous photo from Shari-Annd + Kofi's Mexican Destination Wedding Album was captured by  Aurora G. Photography

This gorgeous photo from Shari-Annd + Kofi's Mexican Destination Wedding Album was captured by Aurora G. Photography

At any minute of any day you can access an article, blog post, infographic, YouTube video dishing out advice about “how to have the destination wedding of your dreams.” But before you begin planning the destination wedding of your dreams, you want to know if you’re making the right decision to have a destination wedding in the first place. There is so much noise out there about how to know if a destination wedding is for you . . .  so many different opinions and schools of thought that a potential future Desti can easily get lost in the sauce. With a zillion lists for the 10/50/100 things that you should consider before having a destination wedding, who can keep up with it all? And really, who wants to? 

 

Who am I kidding?

You do...I did.

but we don't have to!

The love and connection between Sarah + Craig during their Mexican Destination Wedding was captured by  Shenko Photography

The love and connection between Sarah + Craig during their Mexican Destination Wedding was captured by Shenko Photography

I completely understand the struggle of figuring out the answer to the simple question of Is a destination wedding right for me and my fiance? It seems simple. If you only knew how to filter all of this media into one simple piece of advice. Well, I have an answer for you. I won’t go so far as to say I have THE ANSWER, although I think I do. I’ll just tell you MY answer and then you can let me know what you think when you finish your own destination wedding planning.

Forget the budget, forget the weather, hell - forget the date...The FIRST question that you need to answer before you decide to have a destination wedding is...Dig way down, take a few deep breaths and have no judgments here, but ask yourself:

 

How much do we really care
about what people think of us?

 

This isn’t a self-esteem, confidence or “bad bitch” meter. It's about being true to yourself and your relationship. And there is no right or wrong answer. This question can even be asked to ANY couple deciding on their venue for their nuptials - be it a traditional church, courthouse, beach, mountain, across the world or in your backyard. But here’s the thing: Planning a destination wedding has a magical way of amplifying "normal" complaints and issues that people can have with your wedding planning decisions. We know what complaints are like, and we know that everyone has them but when they are directed towards what you many consider to be the biggest day of your life, the sting is real.
 

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?
— Danielle Leporte
Black Destination Wedding Bride Black Desti & Bridefriends - Desti101 First Question to Answer Before You Decide to Have a Destination Wedding

 

Being yourself is scary for many people, and I get it.

But there is a reason you’re thinking about having a destination wedding. Something led you to this place and you should channel that energy and think deeply about whether this is something you really want. No matter what anyone thinks.

 

Not everyone will be on board with your decision, no matter what you do. Couples who choose to have destination weddings are often viewed as more selfish than couples who choose to have "traditional weddings." I’m willing to bet that at least 1 person will honestly express their feelings of discontent and it may not be so pretty. But how much do you as a couple want this? And how much do you care about what everyone else feels about it? Only you can answer those questions.

 

There are some truths that you need to be aware of
when you decide to have a destination wedding:

 

Not everyone can be invited

Each person costs money and each person brings a certain energy. Taking it all into account, they all can’t make the cut.

 

Not everyone can attend

Even if you have an unlimited budget and the first truth doesn’t apply to you, the second truth is universal. And this may sound like the first truth, but it isn’t. Cousin Ray Ray may be on probation, Aunt Tee Tee’s medical condition may not allow for travel, your BFF may be too terrified of flying and your favorite uncle just plain can’t afford the trip. As much as you may want these people there, and even if you give 2 years notice, someone will not be able to swing the trip. Face it.

 

But here’s the funny thing. They get over it.
 
And if they don’t, how supportive of you and your happiness are they really?

 

The lovely energy in this photo from Marie + Marlon's Mexican Destination Wedding Album was captured by  Shenko Photography

The lovely energy in this photo from Marie + Marlon's Mexican Destination Wedding Album was captured by Shenko Photography

The reality is that you can make a destination wedding happen in whatever way is best for you. You can have a destination wedding with any budget, date or venue, you just need to know how to sacrifice, compromise, be patient and stay in your lane. I’ll share more tips about this in the near future, but trust me...it’s possible. The only thing you can’t control--and what’s ultimately most important--is how you and your fiancé feel about having a destination wedding in the first place- truly. Do some soul-searching here.

 

So after you ask yourself those 1 million other questions that you’ve pinned, read and watched out there in the world in search of an answer to figure out if a destination wedding is right for you, ask yourself this...and truly ask yourself...like, go in the bathroom with the water running and the fan on so no one else can hear you...and ask yourself:

 

How much do we really care
about what people think of us?

Once you know the answer to this, everything else will fall in place.