162 Days - Destination Wedding Journal - Black Destination Bride


Day 162

Friday, December 16, 2016


Temperature: High 25° / Low 22°
I need to meet a meteorologist soon so I can understand HOW the low says 22, but the current is 10? Why is this okay to say?
I need answers damn it!

I'd like to file a complaint...this city is too damn cold AND no one seems to know how to forecast it! 

I'd like to file a complaint...this city is too damn cold AND no one seems to know how to forecast it! 


What Kind of Day Did I Have & Why?

I was on Irritation Factor 1,000 for most of the day.  I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed and didn’t quite get it together until this evening. Che did the best he could to get me out of my funk and was quite successful - until he had to go to work and leave me to fall back into my IF1000. Fear, Self-Doubt, and Insecurity were swirling about today!

After several hours of fighting this craziness in my mind, I had to pull my shit together and have a LuxeGirlPowerBreak Session with myself. I had my sparkly pink drink in sugared rimmed champagne flute in hand, lights on low, candle lit, cushy pillow, perfume poppin, audiobook playing with motivational girl power music on extra low - I was all about it. I haven’t had one of these sessions in a while, but I had to remind myself just how awesomely fabulous I am and that I have nothing to be afraid of OR unsure of. I used to do this all the time, and I’m now reintroducing them into my routine. They’re very necessary - especially while planning this destination wedding!

By 8:00, Che was coming home from Happy Hour with the fellas and I was renewed and back on my shit!
Fuck fear! I’m a Desti and a Bridefriend...Hear me ROAR!!!
...And we're having Chinese for dinner!


How Do I Feel? Health/Lupie Status?

Well, I ended up paying out-of-pocket for my meds because my insurance company wanted to play around with me...so that added to today’s irritation factor. Sure, they say once everything is straightened out I'll be reimbursed, but it’s the principle. This was one of those days where I HATE having Lupus. Now...don't get me wrong, I NEVER love it, and it hasn't been that bad to me this week, but today I’m still hating it today.
I could really do without the periodic medication woes.
Whenever the pharmacy or my insurance company (I swear they take turns) acts up, I'm faced with the possibility of not being able to have what I need to feel like a halfway decent person, and woman for that matter...And ain't cool son.
That being said, I bought them and didn't have much pain today, so I'll give it a 3.


Workout Time & Duration?

Another beastly day at the gym for yours truly! I’ve decided that I’m going to do the exact same thing next week. No changes. Just a repeat of the same shit I’m doing this week. Yup, I like it! Today’s Leg Day only took me about an hour and it was the only time this afternoon that I wasn’t completely irritated.


Destination Wedding Task Tackled:
Nothing. I was too busy being irritated and getting my shit together today.

Any Old Destination Wedding Tasks Making a Comeback?
See above

Loving Black Love Moment?

Nowadays, waking up on the wrong side of the bed doesn’t happen to me too often and after Che listened to my problems and complaints and bullshit excuses he put me back together the best way he knew how. Supportive actions, Encouraging words & Motivational music!  The man was in Super Wonderful and Amazingly Selfless Fiance mode this morning.  It may have been a rough way for him to start his morning, but I appreciate it all! He loves me, really believes in me and knows me oh-so-well.

What am I happy for?

Cara Alwill Leyba...

...and her book Girl Code. I always called my sessions with myself GirlPower Breaks, and I came across this book months ago when I was thinking about starting my own business. I just added it to my wishlist and kept on trucking. Well, TODAY...with the day I was having...I decided to download that audiobook while at the gym and I finished it during my getting my shit together session today! This book is in my must haves for now and forever!


What could I have done better?

At first this morning, I was busy struggling to fight my feelings of Fear, Self-Doubt, and Insecurity. But once I decided to let myself feel them, and then float away I felt much better. I gave myself permission to have these feelings, but then they had to go.
So what could I have done better?
I could have fought them less. Had I given myself permission earlier, I could have salvaged more of my day.
Lesson learned...valuable lesson learned today.


What am I doing tomorrow?

Working out, watching some Christmas movies and loving on my man and having some destination wedding talk… it’s been a while - for the destination wedding talk that is!