Day 122

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Temperature: High 56° / Low 38°

What Kind of Day Did I Have & Why?

I’ve definitely seen better days…

Today was Rough! Yeah, it was rough, to say the least! I had a hard time trying to not be nervous recording myself and it was REALLY difficult.
...Scratch that...

It was paralyzing!

I was a hot ass mess just overthinking everything and over judging myself to the point that I was in tears.
I want to remember this day...because I don’t ever want to have it again.

How Do I Feel? Health/Lupie Status?

I guess it is a good thing that I was too caught up in my emotions to really think about pain, but on the other hand, I was so tense that I could be at risk of a flare up tomorrow… There’s nothing I can do about it now, but I hope I didn't mess myself up. That being said, today's pain was at about a 4 or so.

Workout Time & Duration?

Hell no! I was entirely too distracted to even THINK about working out today.

Loving Black Love Moment?

Understanding how upset I am and have been all damn day, Che took the time when he got off of work to take any outside responsibilities away from me (dinner), and encouraged me to step away, sit down and unwind. He even sat and recorded with me to try to take away the nerves I was having. We also talked about it more in depth and in addition to his supportive words he also encouraged me to talk about it with my therapist, Julie, to try to get to the root of this issue I’m having. He really is my Mr. Fix It!

What am I happy for?

I’m happy that even on days like this...especially on days like this, my Loving Black Love Moment section is never empty. No matter how awful my day is (and this is one for the books) my man finds a new way to show me how much he loves me.

And I’m also happy for bestfriends! I was flailing today and between an amazing fiancé and great besties, I was able to stay afloat.
Damn today sucked!

What could I have done better?

I should have taken my condition into consideration while I was getting so upset today. It really isn’t good for me and I always say that I’m not going to let other people get me upset and cause a flare up because it isn’t worth it...but I need to take that same attitude when it comes to myself. I can’t be putting my own damn self at risk!

What am I doing tomorrow?

I MUST make tomorrow better than today!

For real!

I need to press that reset button and get my shit together!